I opened my eyes, blinking slowly as I focused and looked to my right. There lay a man with the body, mind, soul, and spirit of the most beautiful African God.
My fingertips lightly played along the mass of muscles; beautifully sculpted arms and chest, lingering along his abs before I finally stopped fighting the urge to kiss him.
Last night we’d had a fight, the worst one yet and so much guilt consumes me this morning.
Not wanting to wake him just yet, I pecked his soft lips gently and carefully climbed out of bed. Tiptoeing into the bathroom, I did my daily routine and dressed in my usual Sunday morning attire. His t-shirt and boxers.
He may not forgive me right away, but it will certainly be hard for him to stay mad once he sees me. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and walked back into our bedroom, smiling when I saw my king sitting up resting on his elbows as he blinked a few times and looked around. His gaze met mine and for a moment it felt just like the very first time we ever laid eyes on one another. Sparks flew.
“Good morning, My Love.”
I smiled and walked towards him as he motioned for me. God knows, I’ll do anything to make this man happy as long as he promises to never stop loving me. Fifteen years and that promise has withstood every tragedy possible.
“Hello, My Love.”
Pulling me down, I straddled him the way I do most mornings, reveling in the way his smooth hands play over the most sensitive areas of my body before he ever utters another word, and I gently ran my fingers through the curls of his black hair.
I simply listened to our hearts beating as one, connecting as he pulled me closer and held me tighter. I couldn’t help but smile as he laid his head on my chest. I had to tell him.
“I love you.”
Looking into my eyes for a moment, he smiled and kissed me sweetly. I had to say it again.
“I love you.” And again, he kissed me, longingly. “And I love you.” One last time as I professed my love, as if he’d never get to place his lips on or taste my lips again.
“I love you more, Kani, and I’m so sorry about last night. I should not have gotten upset and raised my voice when I know that you were only trying to make me feel better.”
“It’s okay Kenny. Honestly, I’d think there was something wrong with us if we didn’t fight every once in a while.”
“True, but I should never take my frustrations out on you. I just feel like such a failure because I can’t provide for you like I used to.”
I was about to say something when he moved me to my side of the bed and got up, walking into the bathroom. I could hear water running in the sink. Kenny cleared his throat and I let out a deep sigh, trying to figure out what I can say to make him feel better.
Although I thought I was being comforting towards him, trying to keep him calm and at ease, it backfired and it led to us fighting. I don’t want that again this morning.
“Being laid off from your job doesn’t make you a failure, Baby.”
“Not being able to provide for you and our family is what makes me a failure. How can I feel good about myself as a man knowing that there’s nothing for me to do because I’m too overqualified for everything?”
“You’re not a failure, and I don’t want to hear you putting yourself down again. We’ve got money saved up, I still work so I’ll pick up more hours. We will manage.”
In a few quick steps, he came out of the bathroom and looked at me after putting his shirt on. “No, you’re not about to overwork yourself when you’re already working part-time, taking care of the kids and this house. No, you’re my queen and it’s my job to take care of and provide for you.”
I stood up, his long shirt stopping at my knees and engulfing my short frame. Stepping in front of him, I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his waist, smiling wide when he gently kissed my lips.
“Yes Kenny, I am your queen. And since you’re my king, when you’re going through something, I’m going through it too. If I have to work day and night to make sure our family is okay, then that’s what I will do until you’re back on your feet. It’s my job to hold it down for you through good times and bad, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“No ‘buts’ about it. You’re not a failure, and I love you.”
He smiled before effortlessly lifting me into his arms. “I love you too, Kani. From the top of your head to the very tip of your toes. Everything from those gorgeous gray eyes, to that golden brown skin, to that sweet country accent you speak with; you’re my world. My Love, and I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.”
“And you’re mine, and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you happy, I’ll never let you fall because I’ll be right here holding you up. I promise that as long as you got me, I got you, and everything will be alright.”
And I mean that.