I stood in the mirror, smiling at myself as I danced in his shirt. Far too large for my frame, but it fits perfectly to me. Wrapping my arms around myself, I sighed; knowing that this is as close as I’ll get to my love for a long time.
I let my hair down, running my fingers through it a few times before I tossed my hair tie on my vanity and climbed into bed. Just as I pulled my thick comforter over me, my phone rang. Picking the receiver up from the base, I smiled. Lowering my voice just a little.
At midnight, it could only be one person. The only person I want to talk to.
His deep baritone rang out soon after and I felt every part of me melt. Lord knows I miss this man with everything in me. It’s so funny; never in my wildest dreams had I imagined we’d get to this point. Long distance; it never works. But here we are, over a year and still going, still trying. “Hey Baby, is it too late?”
“Never too late for you. I do wish that we could have these late night talks every night. I swear, that would make this so much easier for me.”
I could feel him smiling, sense that he was licking his lips. “I know that it’s hard on you, Baby. And I promise, I can’t wait until the day that I can come home for good. You know, a lot of these guys that I work along side, and fight with, they never seem to have anything to hold on to. They’re always saying it’s whatever. That’s not the case for me.” He chuckled. “I can’t wait to get home to you, I’m holding on out here just for you.”
“But you shouldn’t have me on your mind while you’re, you know…”
“You’re my good luck, that’s how I survive. But, let’s talk about what’s going on with you. How are you feeling, Sunny?”
“I’m okay. Glad that you called.”
“Yeah, why’s that?”
“Because, Erick, I miss you. And lately, I’ve been having these dreams. You’ve been on my mind constantly and I was hoping for the chance to tell you what’s been on my mind lately.” I was really thankful that there was such a long break between this call and the last because it was so hard for me to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Even though we’re together, much of this year and some months has been spent apart.
We haven’t touched one another, kissed one another, or seen one another physically in months; who knows if our feelings are in sync. Maybe I’m a little ahead of whatever is on his mind and heart. I want this to be real, would hate to think that I’ve been in a fantasy. “Sunny, what’s on your mind?”
I cleared my throat. “I’m trying to put my thoughts together, I wanna say it right Erick.” I looked at the clock on my nightstand, realizing that we really didn’t have much time. With my emotions suddenly going into overdrive, I calmed myself. Taking a deep breath, I let my feelings flow. “I love you. And, I miss you so much Erick. Every night I’m here, dreaming and waiting for the day you come home. It’s always the same dream. For some reason I’m at the airport and you don’t tell me that you’re home, but I feel a tap on my shoulder, and it’s you. The way I jump into your arms, the way you hold me and hug me. The way you kiss me, I long for that. Maybe I’m a little off for feeling that way, with no real face to face time between us, but you’re it. I love you, and until that happens for us, I’ll be right here, dreaming, with my lame self.”
I could hear him laughing, and it was so cute. “I love you too, Sunny. And while my dreams have a little more, we’re on the exact same page. So we’re dreaming about one another when we sleep?”
“Until I can hold you and say to your face that you’re mine, yes.”
“In that case, I’ll see you in my dreams tonight, Baby.”
“And I hope you’ll be in mine.”
I smiled, excited that he was able to give a few more minutes. I love this man with everything in me, and there’s no one that can tell me that he and I aren’t meant to be. I’ll wait, and dream about him for as long as I have to.