Daryl took extra caution to make sure he didn’t bump into his soon-to-be ex-wife as they both packed up their belongings. Since neither could deal with the other keeping the house they shared, they both settled on selling and moving.
While she’d already, seemingly, pulled her life together, it was as if he were still stuck in limbo. Unsure of what to do, where to turn next. Some days he was happy it was all over, other days he could only reminisce on how great things had been in the beginning. He sometimes told himself that they could work things out, try again, be better the third time around.
However, he knew just as well as she did that they could never truly be happy. Not now that they had grown apart.
If she wasn’t acting on her jealousy and insecurity, she was bitching over the smallest things. He took it, as best as he could; figuring it would all work out, she was his wife. They’d created a life together, his dreams and hopes had become hers, and vise versa. And together, they created new dreams and hopes.
His main goal, outside of providing, was to keep her happy and satisfied. He’d do all that he could, go out of his way to prove that she was his only concern. His only desire had been to love her, to grow with her, to share the joys of life with her.
It seemed, the more he tried, the less she found things in their life to be good enough. It was never good enough.
Daryl could question daily; how could they have ended up like this? How could they have gotten to the point of hating one another. How had they skipped all they’d been taught, mainly, how to communicate.
As he thought about it, silently packing away the many different things he’d acquired over the years, it became crystal clear. They’d talk, and within seconds it would lead to some type of argument. Being the type that never wanted to go to bed angry, he’d allow her to use sex as a way to end all fights. He’d forget all of their problems once they found themselves between the sheets, entangled with one another. Only then had their problems seemed so silly. His pride in her, in their marriage would return and they’d be ‘good’ again. And the next day, they’d repeat.
Still, both knew that after years of fighting, sexing, fighting, and pretending to make up had created a strain that neither of them could bare to handle any longer. Of course, the problems in their relationships were not one sided.
Once he became fed up with the way things were going, he’d say things he didn’t necessarily mean. He’d make his own accusations, do his own share of bitching and speculating. He’d even made the terrible mistake of striking her, something he knew he’d always live to regret. Even though she stated and always insisted was her own fault, she’d provoked it, he would never forgive himself for getting to that point.
“Daryl, I was thinking-”
“It’s too late, Angel.”
She sighed, turning to him to see that tears were streaming down his cheeks. As much as she wanted to walk over and comfort him, she knew that would only further complicate the situation. Even with the pending divorce, she knew there was still some inkling of chemistry. Sexual chemistry, far too intense for her to comfort him as she used to without wanting to follow with a passionate evening of lovemaking. They could not go back to that stage again.
“Can we just walk away with no hard feelings, for real this time. If you ever need me, I’ll still be here to help. And I’d like to hope that if I needed you, you’d be by my side too. Can’t we just go on thinking of all of the good times? We did try, as toxic as it was, we tried to make our marriage work. We don’t have to give up on a possible friendship in the future, do we?”
Daryl looked at Angel and shrugged. “Yes, I think we can, one day. And maybe somewhere down the line, we’ll be able to speak civilly, with others around and not put on this front as if we hate the sight of one another.”
He nodded. “Yeah. For now, it’s just time for us to let it all go. Farewell.”
Grabbing what he could for this first trip to his car, Daryl cleared his throat, turning away just before Angel could speak up again. If he let her, she could easily talk him back in, reel him back into the relationship that had caused them both so much pain.
All she needed was that soft and gentle voice, and some tears. It was much too late, he felt, for tears, for hoping things would work, and false promises on both ends. All they could do, he felt, was walk away, and let it go. He never wanted to go back to the point where he was unhappy, working and doing things JUST to keep her satisfied. His own satisfaction and happiness mattered too.