I pranced around a field of flowers, touching a rainbow of petals gently with my fingertips as I searched for a way home. They soon become sparse bushes that lead to a trail of colossal willow trees. This place is unfamiliar, and I’m not sure how I’ve gotten here. Lost, yet a sense of peace washes over me with each step I take.
Something convinces me that here within a thicket I should lie, embrace the cool breeze that rushes to envelop me.
My back against the Earth, I exhale all of my troubles and worries, and inhale the possibilities of peace and harmony. Closing my eyes, I count to five, and I feel myself drifting away.
“It’s amazing what your mind conjures when you feel you’re in danger of falling off the tightrope you walk, isn’t it?”
My eyes shot open, and above me stood a woman in white, something large hidden behind her back. An ethereal glow surrounding her, a calming presence that silences whatever fear I thought I should have. Her catlike eyes, mesmerizing and alluring, her smile beckoning me to sit up and meet her face to face.
So I did.
She sat before me, speaking softly in a voice that moved me like a lush lullaby. “I’ve seen you before. In my dreams.”
“And you, I hold in my heart for all eternity.”
Her face began to resemble one I saw daily. Perhaps, the same one I saw when I glanced in the mirror; examining myself to see what type of beauty I truly possessed. If any at all. It was all her, from her eyes, to the full lips that sat perched in a tiny grin, parting slightly as she confirmed my thoughts.
My twin, my mother. An angel before me, her spirit comforting me in my most dire time of need.
I clung to her, tears spilling from my eyes as I begged her to never leave me again. Or, at least, to take me with her. The first she would not promise, the second… she could not do.
Her fingers picked at the short curls that sprung from my head, her eyes taking in the way I sat before her. Years of grief and sadness weighing me down, the epitome of confusion in a world I’ve spent some twenty-odd years struggling to navigate through without her. I wondered did she know that I needed her?
And as if there were no barriers between my mind and the thoughts it held and her own, she caressed my cheek while giving the answer my heart desired. “Yes, I know. And I wish that things could be different. I wish you could find happiness in all that you still have, in those surrounding you.”
“But no one would have loved me like you. No one would have cared like you. Not a single person.”
In a huff, I stood, angered that she could be so calm, yet even with an answer and her feelings I couldn’t feel at peace with how life played out. How it played the hell out of me. I wished instantly for the dream to end, to never be bothered again. And in the same breath, I felt shame and regret wash over me as I turned to face her again. And still, she smiled. “I love you, My Baby. And I always will, and anytime you wish to see me; close your eyes, and dream a dream.” I opened my mouth to speak, and she stopped me. “I’m proud. And you should always know that.” She stood, came to me. Kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly. It was like cool air flowing around me, wrapping me in a flurry of tingles. I loved it.
Not another word was uttered. And in the blink of an eye, she was gone. And I was alone, lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling.


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