Every once in a while I get myself so hyped up about my passion and my goals, my dreams and I get wide eyed with excitement about all that I’m going to do to fulfill those goals and dreams.
And then, something comes tumbling down, weighing my mind and heart down heavily.
Self-doubt. Fear. Self-loathing. Depression.
Sometimes I don’t know how to handle it.
So, I often take the detrimental routes. Starving myself, sleeping my days and life away. Avoiding human contact (though, naturally I’m just not very social in person anyway). Self-harming, though this tidbit I mostly keep to myself.
Currently… I’m on the downside, once again, and I don’t know when things will be looking up for me again. I force some smiles and laughs here and there, but … I don’t feel good.
I’d like to, I just don’t know how right now.