There has been a definite change in me and the way that I feel, think, speak, and act lately. (This does not mean that I don’t still have ‘weak’ moments, as I had one bright and early this morning.)
While I have always believed in God and known that He is with me at ALL times, even when it seems I am alone; I attribute this bit of restoration or NEW LIFE breathed into my faith to a few interviews and videos I’ve watched featuring a number of Gospel artist that don’t necessarily uphold the full traditional views of ‘The Church’.
As in; who’s deserving of forgiveness, God’s love, whose sin is greater or less than someone else’s, how we go about bringing others to God, etc.
Lately, I’ve been feeling what they call DISCERNMENT heavily, been feeling God use me in certain ways, hearing Him speak to me, witnessing Him guide me and my thought processes, and so many other things that have made me a greater believer.
Again, that does not mean these feelings don’t get tested. In fact, I feel a lot of what has been going on in my personal life within the past month or two has been the strongest test He has ever sat before me.
We all know the saying; God never gives you more than you can handle.
And though we are NOT supposed to question Him, His will or His ways; my question has been a very consistent, “how much more before You feel I’ve learned?”
I-I always feel as if I don’t articulate my thoughts and feelings well, so perhaps this doesn’t make any sense at all. But, in short; my faith is being tested daily, by the hour, and by the minute. But I will NOT give up, I will not let this break me (or my family going through it with me). I will continue to trust in God and have the greatest faith in whatever these plans he has for me are.