The following is the second half of an intro that included (Brokenhearted) and was meant to be included in a full novel titled Forever, For Always, For Love by myself.
It is the first official option in my BringItBYKE2021 ‘project’ that I announced in my previous post.
Please enjoy, leave your thoughts, and Happy Reading!
A cigarette dangled between Carey’s fingers, clouds of smoke obstructing his vision as he stared at the now empty living space around him. It had once been filled with lovely furniture, priceless objects and trinkets, love and memories. All he could see now was the bleakness that had seeped in, a result of broken promises and unfulfilled dreams. His home doomed to serve as seven rooms of gloom as he withdrew from the world outside.
It seemed he’d been stuck in the center of the floor, chain smoking as he tried to cope with what had transpired. His anger shifted to an intense pain that seemed to stop his heart each time she crossed his mind.
Sunlight dancing through the large double paned window, it hit his eyes and showed just how he’d declined in a matter of days. The whites of his eyes, bloodshot, a glossy glare overtaking his bright blues. It seemed the more tears he blinked away, the more that formed and fell to streak his sunken face.
Loaded in his stereo and stuck on repeat; Carey absently mumbled the words to Sara Smile in between puffs, rocking from side to side as he rode the waves of his emotions.
Standing at the entrance of the living space, leaning against the doorframe, his younger sister shook her head. For a man that thrived on his manly bravado, known for his coolness and laidback attitude regarding all things in life; all she could spot was a wounded puppy, yelping out through new actions that only served to destroy him even further.
“If you put aside the fact that I’ve never liked her, am I out of line for stating that she wasn’t any good for you anyway? Look at this as a blessing, Carey.”
He looked over his shoulder slowly, a look of anguish painted across his face. Heartbroken, ripped to pieces at the level of betrayal he’d stumbled upon; he was in no mood for I told you so. If he’d known Carson was coming with such intentions, he’d have banned her from his property the way he banned others.
Carey was in no mood to be told how he should feel, what he should think of his wife, her actions, how he should act, and how he should have been glad to discover her deceptive ways and true colors in such a way.
Speaking dryly, his voice cracking, Carey told his sister what he wished he could tell everyone else. “Mind your business. If you have none of your own, I suggest you find some.”
Folding her arms across her chest, Carson silently counted to five before pressing on. “I know that you’re going through something-”
“My wife slept with my brother, and I walked in on them. My wife slept with one of my best friends. My wife slept with the neighbor we invited over often and has had threesomes with him and his wife. All of that is a blessing? Why, because you assume she’s out of my life?”
“I couldn’t imagine why you would consider working anything out with her.”
He wasn’t, but it seemed no one understood why he couldn’t look at the bright side of learning his wife had been unfaithful. Perhaps if it were all with strangers, with one specific person, maybe someone she didn’t share feelings or have tied emotions with. Maybe then it might not have been so bad, maybe his thoughts wouldn’t have been so jumbled, and the decisions to come wouldn’t be so hard to make. Maybe this news, on top of all the other things happening around him, wouldn’t have been the news to push him to consider ending it all.
He felt alone, used and deflated. His gaunt and ghostly appearance reflecting the emptiness of his heart and soul. “Ha, I couldn’t even satisfy or keep my wife happy. Couldn’t provide properly, give her the thing she wanted most. Then again, I’m sure she’s glad we couldn’t start that family. I’d have probably failed at taking care of her and children. Can’t take care of myself, my responsibilities. Nobody to turn to, nobody I can trust anymore. Lost the best job anyone can have. What’s left? No hopes, no dreams, no desires, or will to go on. Just worthless, useless and I am certain that you, her, and everyone else would be better off without me.”
“If it’s alright with you Carson, I’d like to be left alone indefinitely. I don’t want or need you or anyone else checking on me. Whatever happens, it just happens.”
A chill ran up her spine, a million thoughts of what her brother might try running through her mind. “Whether it’s alright with you or not, I’m not going anywhere. I’m still reeling over Mason taking his own life last year. I know that you’ll mope, and I can’t make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. But I won’t walk away, I won’t leave here only to return and find you gone. Whatever you’re going through, I’m going to be here and help you through it.”
Without another word, she headed towards his kitchen to find him something to eat. Carey only faced the large window again, putting out the cigarette he held before swiftly lighting another.