So, so much has been happening and it’s taken a bit of a toll on my creativity.

Mainly working and overworking at my 9-5 has been taking up so much of my time but also, lately, there’s been this lingering feeling.

I don’t know if it’s sadness, dread, stress, or what, but it’s been very weird.

One thing I do know for certain; this past year and a half I think I’ve done a pretty decent job of holding everything together.

Mainly my emotions. Not crying, not letting anyone know when I’m feeling down. And most importantly keeping a tight grip on my depression and not letting it overpower the moments when I do feel good.

Guilt as well because I still very much feel guilty for going on and living my life as if nothing has happened or changed.

Right now though, in this moment, it’s a little different. I’m typing this with a smile on my face, vibing to some good music. But I’m incredibly sad and I feel the loneliness and complete loss of my brother more than ever.

That’s all I wanted to share, just to get it off my chest so I don’t hold it in and combust in a bad way later.

I always say it, but new works and greatness on the way …. as soon as I get over this little hurdle.

Love you all who have been here and continue to return to MyPenWritesNice. The support is appreciated more than you could ever know.

xoxo, Cortney.

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